Editor’s note: The San Antonio Report is pleased to feature the weekly bigcitysmalltown podcast hosted by Robert Rivard, co-founder of the Report. We’ll be publishing a brief synopsis of the podcast each Tuesday.
On any given day, as many as three people are embarking on their final journeys inside a house off Post Oak Lane on San Antonio’s North Side.
The modest, three-bedroom home looks like any other in the neighborhood, but this is where more than 430 people have received “contemplative” end-of-life care over the last nearly 10 years at ABODE.
While everyone’s circumstance is different, they all deserve a peaceful place to consider their lives and deaths, Mary Thorsby, CEO of ABODE said on the latest episode of the bigcitysmalltown podcast.
“We’re not rushed, we’re very … in the present with our people, recognizing that being with them and listening to them deeply is much more important than rushing around a room,” Thorsby said.
It’s a “sacred space” for a sacred time of life, she said. “We have a beautiful backyard filled with old oak trees. There’s music, art, yoga, meditation — we have a labyrinth. We’ve been called ‘God’s waiting room’ and it’s the most beautiful waiting room I’ve ever seen.”
The nonprofit, which provides its care at no cost to the individual, is one of only four programs in the state of Texas and more than 32 nationwide that are part of the Omega Home Network. Dozens more are in development nationwide.
While other private facilities and in-home hospice care programs are far out of reach for many people, these programs offer quality end-of-life care for people with all backgrounds, including people experiencing homelessness.
“I think people all over the country are realizing the importance of providing a place for folks at end of life,” Thorsby said. “And they’re trying to raise money to make it happen.”
ABODE has also started training “death doulas” to take its contemplative care approach to meet people where they are.
“They’re very similar to birth doulas,” she said. “End-of-life doulas are just the opposite. … We launched our end-of-life doula certification program a couple of years ago, it’s up and running beautifully. We’ve trained about 60 people so far. And in fact, our next certification starts Sept. 14.”
Thorsby, a former event specialist and entrepreneur, has a unique vantage point on the human condition because of her work so close to death.
“It just reminds me that what really matters in life is … just love,” she said, remembering a man who came to ABODE without any possessions.
“He had absolutely nothing … not even a pair of shoes,” she said. “All he has are his tattoos. And he was he was gone.”
But worldly possessions are meaningless at the end, she said.
“A lot of folks come to us right at the very, very end,” Thorsby said. “We didn’t get to know him [or] what his background was. We just knew he was dying and he deserved as much love and dignity and celebration on his last day of life as he probably had on his first day.”
